Anyone living in Canada knows that it is election season. I say "season" because it seems to happen on an annual basis, just like the four other seasons we experience in a year. This year I’ve decided to actually read up on all four political parties (the fifth – Green Party – is my cop-out option), find out what their platforms are, and make an educated and informed decision when I go to vote. I’ve decided to post my personal opinions of these contenders so that my fellow Canadians, who do not wish to do the research, can make an educated decision as well.
Before I get into the details though, I’d like to talk about why I vote. For me, it’s a duty and not a choice. I’ve been lucky enough to have been born in a country that seems to embrace democracy and I plan to fully participate in that democracy whenever I can, both on a federal and provincial level. It’s a right that I have been granted just by existing and I like it!
Now that that’s out of the way let’s get on with it shall we.
1. Stephen Harper
This guy is the current Prime Minister of the 5 year minority government we have here in good ol’ Canadia.
What he likes:
- Fighter jets. Who doesn’t like fighter jets? They’re cool and they fly and they shoot bombs and bullets and shit.
- Heterosexuals. He’s a big fan of heterosexual individuals, that’s OK.
- Babies. Who doesn’t like babies?
- Economy. He likes a thriving economy, and after the recent recession I do too!
What he doesn’t like:
- Homosexuals. I’m not really cool with this; I like gays and see nothing wrong with them getting married to other gays.
- Abortions. As a woman I find his position on this topic offensive. I think a woman has the right to do what she wants with her body. (This topic deserves a post of its own so I’ll save that for another day)
- Rich people paying tax. People keep telling me that Harper’s all about tax cuts for the rich. Well, I’m not rich so this doesn’t affect me.
2. Michael Ignatief
Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, a party that I think has “fixed” all of the online quizzes that you can take to tell you who to vote for.
What he likes:
- Spending money. He’s all about spending. Spend spend spend spend spend.
- Health care: Something he wants to spend all sorts of money on. To me it’s an expenditure and not an investment. Like 85% of people who pass through the health care system are old and die. Why are we spending money on people who are going to die anyway?
What he doesn’t like:
- Anything that Harper likes.
3. Jack Layton(or who a friend of mine calls “E Jack U Layton”)
This guy’s a total fucking clown. He recently went through some health issues and I’m sympathetic towards them, but in general he’s a dork.
What he likes:
- Tanning. For someone who has recently battled cancer he has either spent a lot of time at the tanning salon, or he needs to fire his makeup artist… just saying.
-Pensions: One of his main concerns is how retired folk will survive. My mom’s already retired and she’s doing alright so I don’t care much for spending on pensions; again, not an investment but an expenditure
-People. He’s always going on about the people he spoke to in the shop and the guy on the bus and bla bla bla…
- Doctors and Nurses. He’s a big fan of getting more family doctors for people. I don’t have a family doctor and my sister told me it’s a 2 year waiting list just to get a gynaecologist… we could use more doctors.
- Attacking the other leaders. I’ve watched both debates, highlights included, and he seems to have a real knack for attacking the opposition without any real arguments to back up what he’s going off about.
What he doesn’t like:
- Competition. He’s constantly saying that Harper has obviously fallen subject to “Ottawa Culture” (Ottawa, by the way, is our nation’s capitol). He laughs at Ignatief for never having held office and brushes Gilles Duccep off like an unwanted house fly.
- Fighter jets. He’s 100% against buying fighter jets. Not cool.
4. Gilles Duccep
He only really has a presence in Quebec but he’s there (supposedly) for the good of the province. Whatever.
What he likes:
- Talking about Quebec. He starts off most of his argument with “government needs to stop interfering with Quebec”. I don’t really know what this means.
- Unions. Minus 2 points right there – I dislike unions.
What he doesn’t like:
- Anything that doesn’t revolve around Quebec.
And there you have it, people; these are our candidates for Prime Minister. I think they all suck but that Harper sucks the least. A lot of people would disagree with me but I don’t care, it’s my right to vote for whoever I want. *sticks out tongue and leaves room*
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