Sam: I have to go to the Pharmaprix [pharmacy] anyway and the SAQ [liquor store] is across the street. I want to have to option to wear my black skinny jeans but I ripped them in Toronto.
Me: Oh no! How'd you do that? Is it a crotch-rip? No time to take them off?? Tsk tsk, Sammy, you shouldn't rip your pants for sex.
Sam: LOL, no you asshole! It happened as I was getting into a cab to go meet [deleted]! Imagine my face!?! It's the seam in the inner thigh. It was thinning because they're old and cost $9.
Me: I think crotch-rip for sex is a better story so I'm gonna go ahead and believe that's what happened.
Sam: Yes, you would. I guess it does sound more exciting.
Me: I won't tell people that story though, unless you bring it up. Then I'll have to call you a liar and tell my version which will probably become more and more vulgar every time I tell it. It may be best that we just never speak of this again. Best for everybody.
Sam: Done. Conversation over.
