Daylight Savings Time

So I woke up today and the clock on my phone said 10:33 am. Since I stayed in bed until 2:00 pm yesterday I figured I'd get up and actually do something with my morning. Then it clicked. I remember someone on the news saying something about turning the clocks back an hour... something do to with the farmers...

So I immediately turned on my laptop and there it was: 9:33 am. DAMN IT!! "What am I supposed to do at 9:30 am on a Sunday?" - I thought to myself. I mean, 10:30 is early enough, but 9:30... 9:30 is for church goers, not University students!! I can't start studying at 9:30 am on a Sunday, it's the day of rest!! <--- I am not a religious person, just to make that clear.

So here's the plan, I will spend my morning looking for the PERFECT cookie recipe. Yes, you heard me, COOKIES!!! Cookies are just plain ol' good for the soul and I will bake the perfect cookie - not today - but someday. Today is research day. That is, if I don't go back to bed, which is looking more and more appealing as I write this. Yes, back to bed it is, I've earned it with all this blogging and social network surfing...

UPDATE:

I'm not done with this post. I trailed off from the point a bit there with the cookie talk. Cookies distract me. Anyway... yeah... what kind of eff'd-up society tricks you into thinking your're up earlier than you really are? I was happy thinking it was 10:30, and not 9:30, like my computer told me it was. Now I'm going to always be thinking how everything is an hour off. Instead of going to class for 10:15 tomorrow it will really be 11:15. This is going to cause me much disstress for the next few weeks at least! Everytime someone asks me to be somewhere at a certain time I will think how they are an hour off. They'll say "let's meet at 6:00pm" and I'll be thinking "haha sucker, it's really 7:00pm"... I hate this "daylight savings time" shit.

The Hangover Experiment - Part 1

I recently posted about how to cure a hangover: the 5-step program. Now I'm trying to figure out how to avoid the hangover without ceasing to drink alcohol. Since I've finally recovered I feel it necessary to share my experience with everyone, titled The Hangover Experiment.

One of my suggestions on avoiding the hangover was to pair every alcoholic beverage with a glass of water. This past weekend I went to a party, and being as confident as I was in my plan to avoid the hangover I decided to scratch the idea of coupling my drink with water and replace it with Vodka and Vitamin Water. My reasoning: I figured that if I mix alcohol and water I would constantly be hydrating myself and would feel absolutely fantastic the next morning. I was wrong.



It turns out that dragon fruit vitamin water and Vodka tastes like pure awesome! It's so good that I drank about 20oz of Vodka that night. This is a terrible thing to do. The next day I felt like trash wrapped in disgusting. Being the addict that I am to social networks I immediately logged on to Facebook to see all of the wonderful pictures from the previous night. To my distress I did not remember half of them. I had completely blanked-out. Mentally scrambling to remember these pictures I realized that I couldn't even remember how I got back to my Mother's house. Side note: my mother told me that I was very talkative when I got in and hardly seemed drunk - this is scary because I don't remember talking to her at all.

So my attempt at warding off the hangover was a complete and total failure. I'm so very disappointed because I was so sure of myself.

On the bright side I am a resilient mofo and will make a second attempt at beating the hangover beast this Friday at my bestie's Girls' Night.

Hangover Experiment - Part 2: stick to the classics - one glass of water for every beer. My goal here is not only to NOT be hungover the following morning, but to remain under the legal drinking limit, which in Quebec is something like .05

Oh, and after two horrific days of feeling like shit I want to add a 6th step to the hangover cure: play soccer. An hour of running around like a raging moose will sweat out all of the toxins and leave you feeling almost normal afterwards.

UPDATE:

In a previous post I had mentioned how I was going to continue with the Hangover Experiment on Friday by pairing every beer with a glass of water. On Friday, my bestie sent me a message saying she would be serving Sangria at Girls’ Night. Plan for beer – SRATCH THAT! So how did I avoid the hangover this time? By being reasonable. I had to drive that night and the idea of being pulled over and watching the police officer cut up my driving permit was not appealing. So, with that said, I drank about four glasses of Sangria over the course of six hours.



I also made a conscious effort to eat all the delicious food that the hostess had to offer, and she is one heck of a hostess – let me tell you, she put out some brie and bread, Tzatziki sauce and baked pitas, and candy – lots and lots of candy! I woke up this morning sans le hangover and am very pleased with my ability to be a responsible drinker ( I was worried considering last weekend’s drinking disaster).

Bill 115

Okay, so Quebec just passed a law (Bill 115) which allows for allophones (people from outside of Quebec) to attend english schools. In the early 90's they passed a bill (Bill 101) that required all citizens who immigrated from outside of the country or residents whose parents did not attend English school to attend French school. Fine. So Bill 115 basically cancels out Bill 101. English is a universal language and needs to be spoken when dealing with other countries (like the US), so it makes perfect sense that the Liberal Party in Quebec would allow for immigrants (and citizens) to attend English schools. Well, the French school board doesn't agree. Here's an example of how they're handling it:

My 16 year old step son wants to participate in his school's Variety Show this year. He has a band and wants to perform in the show. This is great! Well, not really. Just this past week he was told by the school that if he wants to perform a song it HAS to be a french song. They will NOT allow anyone to sing, play, perform any form of English art. They're allowing for english ONLY if it's like 10% of the song or something like that.

WTF!?!?!? Um, hello - can you say unconstitutional? What happened to freedom of expression? Oh and let's not forget that Canada is a multi-lingual and multicultural society. What's next? Are they going to gather up every students iPod and erase all english songs from them? I cannot believe this! So how can we take a stand - or better yet, how can the students take a stand?

Solution: My step son has decided to audition using a french song, get accepted into the show and then when he gets up on stage on the night of the Variety Show he will begin by playing the required song, and mid-way through the song will change from the french song to the english song he wanted to play. Good idea! I figure he will probably get in trouble for this, maybe even suspended. Worth it? Totally.

Curing the Hangover

I am unbelievably hungover today! So hungover that I can't concentrate on anything but being hungover. How does one cure the hangover? There are many different theories out there that address this issue. Some people will have a little of the "hair of the dog that bit you", some claim that a mix of tomato juice and a whole bunch of other odd ingredients will do it. Today I share my 5 Step program for curing the hangover:

1. Shower. A shower will wash away the stink of the previous night. A good way to begin to loose the horrible feeling of being hungover.
2. Eat a greasy breakfast. Fill up on those carbs and starches. If it's too late for breakfast (which it never is, but in case) eat some Kraft Dinner. It's gross but it works.
3. Orgasm. get your blood flowing with some vigorous sex! A hangover is essentially a lack of oxygen to the brain so one (or several) orgasms will help to balance out the oxygen levels.
4. Nap. Rest up, you'll need it for tonight when the process of getting a hangover starts again.

Now, steps 1 through 4 do not have to be done in this precise order, although getting laid when you stink of beer may be difficult. Also, #3 can be repeated as much as needed as long as it is paired with step number 5:

5. Drink lots of water. Being hydrated is essential to good sex, you don't want to dry out and become swollen and irritated - very unpleasant, trust me, I know.

In fact, paring every alcoholic beverage with a glass of water will probably help in avoiding the hangover in the first place, but how many of us really want to chase a beer with a glass of water? It just doesn't seem fun.

Also, and this is just a tip (and won't necessarily avoid becoming hunover), drink GOOD beer. Budweiser, Molson, and Labatt are NOT good beers and play a large role in creating the disgusting feeling of the hangover. Trade in your Bud for a Heneiken or a Stella, it makes a difference!

So now I must go and practice what I preach!

Happy Hangover everyone!

City Driving

Now, I don't want to seem sexist (although I am a woman) but some women just CANNOT seem to drive. Just the other day I was driving in downtown Montreal when at one red light a car crosses three lanes horizontally (to turn right) and almost hits me. As I honk and detour around the car I see it's a woman. Then, on the very next street, there's a car driving about 5km per hour in front of me. I'm not one for patience but I kept calm, figuring they were looking for a parking spot, right? WRONG! I don't know WTF this car was doing but as I detoured around it I saw that, yet again, another female driver.

I understand that driving in the city can be stressful - I get that, but seriously!? I'm starting to think that Montreal should implement a merit system when it come to city driving. In order to be allowed to drive, one should have to pass an "obstacle" driving test consisting of dodging pedestrians, knowing your way around, and parallel parking. If you fail - NO ENTRY!!