Shit I eat / My boyfriend's a mind-reader

So last night, instead of doing school work I decided to watch “Because I Said So”; a B-movie for sure but entertaining nonetheless. The movie is full of cakes and yummy-looking food so, not surprisingly, I got hungry. I decided to invent an horsd’oeuvre out of the things I could find in my kitchen. This is what I came up with:



It’s mozzarella cheese mushed onto a Tostitos chip with peanut butter. Sometimes I eat some messed up shit. This is definitely one of those times. But it was so amazingly delicious that I had to text my boyfriend about it. This is the conversation that ensued:

Me: Right now I’m eating motz [this is what we call mozzarella in our house] and peanut butter on Tostitos! AWESOME!

Me: [seconds later] they should add more peanut flavour to peanut butter.

Dave: Of course, you’re genius. Plus you smoked pot I presume.

Me: Pot has nothing to do with it! Peanut butter has lost all its peanuts!!!

Dave: That’s sad.

Me: It is sad! We need to reform the peanut butter industry. Let’s call Jiffy!!

Dave: Use Facebook.

Me: Good idea. In the meantime, you spread the good news!

Dave: Spread!

Me: (confused) Yes… spread.

Dave: That should be your Facebook call to arms… “Spread the news”.

Me: What?

Dave: Spread! As in “spreading your peanut butter”.

Me: Oh!!! LOL!! That’s pretty clever!

Dave: I have to go to sleep now…go write your spread blog.

I realized two things from this conversation: 1) My boyfriend is super clever, and 2) He can read minds. How else would he know that I was going to Blog about it? But now I wonder what else he knows? Does he know that I only do my dishes when he is over? Does he know that I wear pyjamas ALL the time when he’s not around? Dave, if you are a mind reader you will know that I posted all these things just to make sure you don’t have leverage over me. I’m onto you and your mind-reading tricks. You cannot be trusted and I’m watching you.