Curing the Hangover

I am unbelievably hungover today! So hungover that I can't concentrate on anything but being hungover. How does one cure the hangover? There are many different theories out there that address this issue. Some people will have a little of the "hair of the dog that bit you", some claim that a mix of tomato juice and a whole bunch of other odd ingredients will do it. Today I share my 5 Step program for curing the hangover:

1. Shower. A shower will wash away the stink of the previous night. A good way to begin to loose the horrible feeling of being hungover.
2. Eat a greasy breakfast. Fill up on those carbs and starches. If it's too late for breakfast (which it never is, but in case) eat some Kraft Dinner. It's gross but it works.
3. Orgasm. get your blood flowing with some vigorous sex! A hangover is essentially a lack of oxygen to the brain so one (or several) orgasms will help to balance out the oxygen levels.
4. Nap. Rest up, you'll need it for tonight when the process of getting a hangover starts again.

Now, steps 1 through 4 do not have to be done in this precise order, although getting laid when you stink of beer may be difficult. Also, #3 can be repeated as much as needed as long as it is paired with step number 5:

5. Drink lots of water. Being hydrated is essential to good sex, you don't want to dry out and become swollen and irritated - very unpleasant, trust me, I know.

In fact, paring every alcoholic beverage with a glass of water will probably help in avoiding the hangover in the first place, but how many of us really want to chase a beer with a glass of water? It just doesn't seem fun.

Also, and this is just a tip (and won't necessarily avoid becoming hunover), drink GOOD beer. Budweiser, Molson, and Labatt are NOT good beers and play a large role in creating the disgusting feeling of the hangover. Trade in your Bud for a Heneiken or a Stella, it makes a difference!

So now I must go and practice what I preach!

Happy Hangover everyone!